


Five Friends Sam Tyler Never Had

by collatorsden_archivist



Category: Ashes to Ashes, Life on Mars & Related Fandoms, Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Angst, Crossover, F/M, G - White Cortina, Time Period: 1973-1981 (Life on Mars), Time Period: 1981-2006 (Life on Mars), Time Period: 2006-present (Life on Mars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-06
Updated: 2008-04-06
Packaged: 2019-01-20 19:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12440511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collatorsden_archivist/pseuds/collatorsden_archivist
Summary: As the title suggests.





	Five Friends Sam Tyler Never Had

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Janni, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [the Collators' Den](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Collators%27_Den), which was moved to the AO3 to ensure access and longevity for the fanworks. I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Collators' Den collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/collatorsden/profile).

  
Author's notes: Written in response to a challenge from Loz for the "Five Things" meme on LJ. One of these things involves a crossover with S3 of New Who; spoilers for the final 3 episodes of S3 of that series. Spoilers through S2.06 of LoM as well.  


* * *

1.) Clowns.

 

 

When thinking logically, Sam knew that clowns were meant to amuse and entertain and cheer him, particularly when he was a child. Still, he could never quite wrap his head round exactly _why_ this was supposed to be. 

 

 

When faced with the reality of clowns, very bad things often happened. Sam's mum had learnt this the hard way, once: Sam was approximately nine, and she'd thought it would be a fun surprise to take little Sammy and some friends to the circus. All was fine and Sam was particularly happy when he won himself a little goldfish, but all his joy quickly turned into a terrified tantrum when he spotted Harley. Harley was a clown, and in fact had other clown friends at this particular circus who were called Calliope and Oglethorpe. Neither Ruth nor Sam was in any mood to be amused by their whimsical nature once Sam had flung himself to the ground, curled into a ball, and started wailing and keening in sheer, abject terror. 

 

 

Not only were _clowns_ not Sam's friends; Sam actually _lost_ some of the friends he'd had up till this point because of them, and the fact Liam and Charlie both thought him far too childish and uncool to be friends with him after that.

 

 

2.) Maya.

 

 

A distinct part of the compound word "girlfriend" is, one will note, "friend." This is also true of the related compound word, "boyfriend." 

 

 

Maya understood this. Sam often said he loved her, but although she would have loved to believe it was true, she knew it couldn't possibly be so. After all, he had barely bothered to get to know her, outside the job itself. 

 

 

She tried to reach out to him, on numerous occasions, but every time she did it was like having a conversation with tape delay. Soon the short, awkward silences stretched into longer ones, and soon those began to eat up entire conversations---except for the job-related ones. 

 

 

After a certain point, Maya decided she'd had enough. 

 

 

It said a lot that when she broke things off with Sam, it was a one-sided conversation had with Sam's voicemail.

 

 

3.) Annie.

 

 

It is utterly impossible to befriend someone you've put on a pedestal. By your own doing, you have rendered them completely, utterly out of your grasp. You may come to think you understand them, but until you knock away the pedestal, you never really will. Sooner or later, you'll have to face up to the fact you're "in love" with a projection. And that while you think you know what love is, you really don't. 

 

 

4.) Chris.

 

 

For similar reasons as #3, except with positions reversed.

 

 

5.) The Master.

 

 

Time Lords, especially really _bent_ ones, don't really _need_ "friends," now, do they? Vassals, perhaps. Still, in the short time they had together, Sam tried awfully hard to get the new boy to like him, in that way that some particularly pathetic people have of constantly attempting to curry favour and ingratiate themselves by buying little presents and doing little things they themselves would find silly and laughable, were they a tiny bit more objective. 

 

 

No, the Master was never his friend---but he did give a lot of nice pats on the head for jobs well-done.


End file.
